These “moving and often surprising” (The Wall Street Journal) case histories meld science and storytelling to show that caregivers don’t just witness cognitive decline in their loved ones with dementia—they are its invisible victims.
“This book will forever change the way we see people with dementia disorders—and the people who care for them.”—Lori Gottlieb, author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A BBC BOOK OF THE WEEK • A TELEGRAPH BEST BOOK OF SUMMER • A NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW EDITORS’ CHOICEInspired by Dasha Kiper’s experience as a caregiver and counselor and informed by a breadth of cognitive and neurological research,
Travelers to Unimaginable Lands dispels the myth of the perfect caregiver. In these compassionate, nonjudgmental stories of parents and children, husbands and wives, contending with dementia disorders, Kiper explores the existential dilemmas created by this disease: a man believes his wife is an impostor; a woman’s imaginary friendships with famous authors drive a wedge between her and her devoted husband; another woman’s childhood trauma emerges to torment her son; a man’s sudden, intense Catholic piety provokes his wife.
Kiper explains why the caregivers are maddened by these behaviors, mirroring their patients’ irrationality, even though they’ve been told it’s the disease at work. By demystifying the neurological obstacles to caregiving, Kiper illuminates the terrible pressure dementia disorders exert on our closest relationships, offering caregivers the perspective they need to be gentler with themselves.
"After getting her master's in clinical psychology, Dasha Kiper took a leave of absence from school and began to look after a Holocaust survivor with middle-stage Alzheimer's. For a year, she lived with the emotional strain of caregiving, learning at firsthand how disorienting and painful it can be to look after a person whose condition blatantly disregards the rules of time, order, and continuity. Based on the subsequent decade she has spent counseling caregivers of dementia patients, Kiper offers an entirely new approach to understanding the relationship between patients and those tending to them. In these poignant but unsentimental stories of parents and children, husbands and wives, Kiper dispels the myth of the perfect caregiver. Relying on a wide breadth of cognitive and neurological research and borrowing from philosophy and literature, Kiper explores the existential dilemmas created by this disease: a man believes his wife is an impostor; a woman's imaginary friendships with famous authors drive a wedge between her and her devoted husband; another woman's childhood trauma emerges to torment her son; a man's sudden, intense Catholic piety provokes his wife. As painful as these conflicts are for caregivers, resolving them has its own cost. In order to find peace, caregivers try to walk an impossibly fine line between acknowledging what the disease has taken from someone they love and recognizing what it has left"--
